Monday, September 23, 2013

Viva Las Vegas?

I was born to a family without much. I was raised in a trailer park. From a very young age I was taught to appreciate people more than things. I learned that, when your family fails you, you create your own. I became resilient yet always maintained my sensitivity, my Achilles heel. I slept with my baby blanket until I was 20 years old; my codependency issues are still present. I grew and learned and experienced things that people cannot even imagine. My life has been blessed and beautiful and strange and difficult. I am really no different than most.

I've struggled through poverty, feeling oppressed and outside, alone. I spent my early 20's fighting suicidal ideation and embracing elation. I held on to the idea of relationships more than the reality of relationships. I have clinched success and allowed myself to fail. I have learned most lessons the hard way.

I am flawed and normal.

My life and career have afforded me the most beautiful adventures and experiences that have created my context. I've lived in the Windy City, managed a bar on Bourbon Street and now I'm going to be a trainer for one of the most successful restaurants in the entire world. I've fallen in love with the most amazing people and shared deep moments that have made me fall even harder. "I am a part of all that I have met".

I start this journey to Sin City with extreme trepidation; what if I fail here? What does it say about me if I cannot rise about the vice of this city and prove myself? Am I strong enough to survive here? Am I making the right choice?

I can only believe in myself. I have to have faith that this is where I am supposed to be right now. I have to see the bigger picture. There is more to learn and opportunity to seize. Every experience, every battle, has led to this point. This is where I show the world what I am made of. This is a jumping off point, the beginning. Everything I've experienced until now has prepared me for what is to come. I am afraid but I am prepared.

I just have to keep telling myself that.